A letter from him

"Handwritten love lettters NEVER get old!" 

It was a surprised to me earlier when I've heard that I have a letter. I was down earlier because of some circumstance but after receiving this, I felt that everything is falling into its place. My mind and heart were confused again. One thing for sure, it changes a lot again.

Bebe, thank you for your endless love. It was in your language which the translator I used didn't translate it well but I managed to find someone who can translate it properly. I felt shy after hearing it. I can't wait to see you and hug you as well. Love you and thanks for everything. Goodluck with your studies.

They've said that love letters like this is outdated already but still, it is the sweetest thing that you will receive from someone you love... far.... far away from you.

Happy 14th monthsary

Just another day for us, Bebe ko ^-^

Bebe ko, thank you for everything. Although we don't normally see each other personally, our love still remain. I know that I'm a complicated girlfriend but I think this is one of the things you love about me.haha Kidding aside, you are still there for me. You also never failed to make me smile especially in those days that I need you. I might have said some "not so good" things to you but remember that until now, my heart is still learning from this relationship. All I hope for you is to understand what this relationship is all about, with your mind especially with your heart. My heart has spoken already and I'm still gonna hold on to it. I always give you so many things to think about that I'm afraid that if I'm going to say more, you might end up with nothing (normally you become speechless). I can't blame myself though to think and write many things if I'm emotional. Thus, I hate you for making me fall in love with you over and over again. :P


According to my fortune cookie from last night which I opened today. So cute... <3

Love you bebe ko.

How much do I love thee

It so hard to define what LOVE is. And it is also depends on our own experiences. Besides, there are different love that we can feel.

Sometimes, I always ask myself how much I love the person who owns my heart. Although my heart belongs to God, my family and friends, there is still someone that makes it more happy, my boyfriend. I must say that our relationship is not perfect, we have ups and downs as well. But one thing for sure, we always ended up to be fine and still smiling. I'm happy that I have known him. He changed the meaning of love to me. I had this so called "dream love" and I've got more than what I have thought. I learned a lot from our relationship and I'm more stronger than before. Although he is younger than me, he thought me a lot of things. Of course, sometimes, he does learnt something from me. :P  We might have a complicated relationship, I'm happy that we are still together. I may not know what ending we will have, but for the meantime, we are enjoying our relationship together. I love him and that what's my heart is saying. I'm gonna keep it as long as I could and as long as his holding me.

A girlfriend's letter

It saddens me that I have been such a pain in your heart because of my complicated feelings. Even though that you feel that I am not, there is a part of me, telling me that I am.
You are such a lovely guy, caring and loves me so much. But why do I feel this hurt inside my heart. Is it because you're far away from me or because you still don't know me?

When I met you, I decided to follow my heart which have been controlled by my mind for ages. It was a happy relationship but just like what others say, there is no perfect relationship. I don't know if I'm doing it right, to give you some space but I think this is good for me as well. I fell in love with you so deep that I can't control anymore. When I'm upset, it gives me so much pain. Funny that it is just a small thing that others might tell me "That's it?!". Anyway, I'm a complicated lady who's just experiencing this kind of love for the first time.

You said last night that I shouldn't forget that you love me... You once said that you hope for a happy ending... You always remind me that I'm pretty in my natural look and I don't need make ups... You hold me like you don't want to let go of me... You stayed up late just to be with me, supporting me in doing my assignments... These are some of the things that you've done for me. I'm such a lucky girlfriend! But..... why am I feeling that there is something missing.

I know that you will not like it but I think this is the time that we need to give ourselves some space especially me. I want to have a strong heart again. A heart full of happiness. I love you so much but I need to love myself as well. I'm just afraid that one day, you might not be able to catch me when I fall.

Always remember that you will always be in my heart! Je t'aime mon cheri!

Stay strong bebe

He went back to his country again. The happy and memorable days ended today. I felt so sad seeing his last wave to me and the fact that he'll be far from me again. I want to cry but I do want to be strong. Does crying makes you strong or makes you weak? I'm trying to hold back my tears because I think this will make me strong but there's a part on me saying that I should let it all out.

As of now, I want to focus on my study but at this moment I can't. Maybe I should take a rest and sleep because maybe tomorrow I'll be fine.

I will be strong not just for him but also for myself. I will focus on my studies so that somehow I will keep myself busy. I miss him already! Can't wait to see him again.

Loving from a distance

They have said that long distance relationship is hard and it doesn't last. In contrary, there are so many great stories about long distance relationship (LDR) that leads into a happy ending.

I'm into this situation, having a relationship from a distance. My boyfriend went back to his country after finishing his final year in the same university we are attending last year. We are into this situation about thinking of what will be the best for our relationship. I'm 7 years older than him and we have different cultures. Indeed, it is really hard for us. By next year, I'll finish my degree and can't assure myself if I can still stay here or need to go back in my country. If worse comes, I'll go back and it will be very hard for us to see each other again (visa and plane tickets are expensive).

It is hard to decide of what to do! I love him with all my heart but there are some worries in my heart. Worries that I'm scared to face. I don't want to lose him! But if the final decision is to end, I guess, it will be the best for us. So far, we are still enjoying each moment together online. ^_^ I must say, thank you skype and facebook and of course to the internet. XD

I'm looking forward to celebrate our anniversary, 2 months from now. ^_^

A dream

I had a dream last night. At first, I was with my mother and took a bus without her. I came down from the bus and went to a hill. There, I saw my boyfriend's bestfriend and greeted him. I then went to my boyfriend and sat beside him. After that, a photographer came and tried to take pictures of us, especially with my hand. Guess what, I have a ring on my ring finger. While I was gently rubbing the back of my boyfriend, the photographer still tried to take photos of it. I just then realised that my boyfriend has a ring as well. Are we married already or I was just engaged to him? And why is there a photographer?

The story didn't stop there. Then the background changed into a Chinese place. I was wandering around that place, and going in and out of so many stores. I know that someone is looking for me but it didn't bother me and continued what I'm doing. That someone is a man. This man is searching for me on that place. Even though that we have chances of meeting, fate didn't allow us. Then I found myself sitting on a table, drinking alcohol and crying. I'm sure that I'm saying something but I can't remember what was it. Then when I was about to fall asleep, the man who was looking for me found me. He tried to stop me from drinking but I refused. Again, our conversation was unclear to me. The story ended when I fell asleep in my dream and that time, I woke up from my sleep. I was actually thinking who the man is. I thought it was my boyfriend at first but there was doubt in my mind. 

I know dreams have so many meanings but I also know that everyone wants to know the reason. Maybe it was just an outcome of watching so many drama and movies. No matter what the reason is, one thing for sure, I was able to make a story while I'm sleeping. ^_^

Do you have weird dreams like this? :)